It’s possible that you’d like to turn Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl” into your own personal reality. You might have just started watching the most recent episode of The L Word: Generation Q and find yourself feeling motivated. Or perhaps you and your significant other are ready to get a little bit grubby. Regardless of why you’ve found yourself on this page, the likelihood is that you have some inquiries regarding lesbian sex or are looking for some suggestions regarding lesbian sex positions. To your good fortune, as a queer sex educator, I am here to assist you.
Continue reading for a list of recommended lesbian sex positions compiled by sex educators.
What exactly does it mean when someone has sexual relations with another lesbian?
The term “lesbian sex” is difficult to pin down and define. People use the phrase as a search term in pornographic databases most frequently in order to locate content that includes two or more cisgender women.
On the other hand, this is not an accurate representation of lesbian sexuality. Why? To begin, it gives the impression that the only people who can engage in lesbian sex are cisgender women, which is not the case. A lesbian is not a cisgender woman who is attracted to other cisgender women; rather, a lesbian is a non-man who loves, dates, and fucks other non-men. It is not only possible for cisgender women to engage in lesbian sex, but also for non-binary people, transwomen, agender people, and gender-expansive people who self-identify as lesbians.
Second, it gives the false impression that anyone who engages in particular sexual behaviours or who possesses particular physical characteristics or gender(s) is a lesbian. To reiterate, the fact that a person identifies as a lesbian is the sole factor that determines whether or not that person is a lesbian. In theory, a person who identifies as heterosexual, omnisexual, bisexual, asexual, or with any other sexuality could enjoy the same sex acts that are referred to as “lesbian sex acts.”
In the context of this article, the term “lesbian sex” refers to sexual activity that takes place between two or more women of any sexual orientation who are exploring their bodies together for the purpose of pleasure.
The six best lesbian sex positions are as follows:
the use of scissors
If you go into any lesbian bar, you’re guaranteed to find some sexy women drinking beer and arguing about whether or not scissoring actually exists. But put your faith in the LGBTQ+ sex educator on this one: In actuality, scissoring is a sex position, and it’s one that a number of people find to be quite enjoyable.
Scissoring is a sexual position that gets its name from the fact that it resembles what happens to two pairs of scissors when their legs (or blades) are spread apart and their crotches (or apexes) are brought together. Typically, sex positions involve two people touching their genitals together. Scissoring is one of the many different sexual positions; whether or not a couple can do it and whether or not it is pleasurable for them depends on their individual preferences for how they like to experience sexual pleasure, in addition to their physical capabilities and the shape of their bodies.
Scissoring is most successful in relationships where both partners have more exposed clitorises and at least one of the partners is extremely flexible. Because playing the position can be taxing on your hamstrings, I recommend doing a vigorous warm-up before you start playing.
Hand games with the outside world.
As the proverb goes, the hands are the sex organ of choice for lesbians. And for good reason: Your hands give you the ability to tease, tickle, penetrate, pound, finger, flick, rub, and rock your partner.
It is important to take into account your partner’s preferences when deciding how to use your hands to get them to say your name. Regardless, Searah Deysach, a long-time sex educator and the owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure-product company in Chicago, recommends starting slow and exploring places like your partner’s inner thighs, pubic mound, and outer labia before ramping up the intensity and touching their clit or cock head-on. Searah Deysach is a pleasure-product company owner. “For instance, you could lightly stroke their outer labia and then move on to their inner labia before stroking next to the clitoris,” she suggests. “You can also try cupping your whole hands over their vulva or cock, and making small circles with your palm can also be an enticing beginning to hand play.” “You could also try cupping your whole hands over their vulva or cock.”
Applying lube and keeping your nails in good shape, as Deysach advises, will make play even more enjoyable for your partner.
Before beginning your strokes, she advises you to “grab some lube” because “dry hands on genitals can be painful and friction-y.” In addition, jagged nails and hangnails have the potential to pierce or irritate the sensitive tissues of the genital region; therefore, it is imperative that you file and trim your nails before you participate in an activity. She recommends wearing latex gloves and stuffing cotton balls into the fingertips of the gloves if you have long nails. “Another option is to wear latex gloves,” she says. More knowledge is better!
The act of pointing.
Following the external hand play, you may choose to investigate the penetrative hand play options (AKA fingering). When someone is fingered, they have one or more fingers inserted into their partner’s genital area. You are able to hit a variety of internal hot spots with your fingers, including their G-zone, A-spot, C-spot, and P-spot, depending on the angle of your fingers and how many of them you choose to use. You can also hit their P-zone, which is located in the centre of their palm.
Determine which of the holes you are going to be investigating before you get started. Anal fingering is a popular activity that is enjoyed by a wide variety of people, including non-op transfeminine lesbians.
After that, get some lube and begin gradually. According to Deysach, it is best to start with one finger at a slow tempo. After that, gradually add fingers, increase speed, and temper technique as desired. You could try a variety of techniques, such as making a motion similar to “come hither,” inserting your fingers deeply and then pulsing them up and down, or stroking in large circles from the inside. “Remember that not everyone likes to be fingered in the same way, so check in with your partner asking questions like ‘Does this feel good?’ and ‘Can I touch you here?’ as you learn to navigate the landscape of your lovers’ pleasure center(s),” she explains. “Also, keep in mind that not everyone likes to be fingered in the same place,” she adds.
As soon as you feel comfortable navigating the different parts of your partner’s body with your hand, you might decide to add your mouth to the mix as well. “Using hands and mouth together can add layers to pleasure in ways that either of them alone just can’t,” says Goody Howard MSW, MPH, the resident sex educator for Royal, a vegan-friendly condom and lubricant company. “Using hands and mouth together can add layers to pleasure in ways that either of them alone just can’t.”
Inflicting Pain
People who enjoy taboo sexual acts and/or the sensation of being stuffed may find fisting to be an exceptionally pleasurable experience. However, neither vaginal nor anal fisting is appropriate for beginners or even intermediates who engage in penetrative sex play; instead, fisting is considered a more advanced form of sexual play that should be reserved for couples who have a significant amount of experience with penetrative play and are also capable of clear and effective communication.
The question now is, how do you accomplish this? According to Deysach, you should “go slooooow and use a lot of lube.” You do not enter the area with your hand in a “fist bump” formation; rather, you enter the area one finger at a time, allowing the hand to make the shape of a “bird beak” when it is first placed inside the area. When all of your fingers are tucked into the palm of the hand, your hand will naturally curl into a fist.
Some fistees find that simply experiencing the sensation of an immobile fist is enough to fulfil their desire for pleasure. Some people prefer a gentle pulsing motion, while others prefer a rocking motion that allows the knuckles of the fist to press up against the nerve-dense internal hotspots.
sex roles held by lesbians
Sex with the straps on.
Strap-on sex is an umbrella term that refers to any sexual act that involves a dildo and a harness. This type of sexual act can be used to reinforce power dynamics, affirm gender identities, assist with feelings of fullness, and encourage sexual exploration. According to Howard, “they’re something you may want to consider trying if either you or your partner enjoy being penetrated.”
Purchasing the necessary pleasure implements comes first in the process of engaging in strap-on sexual activity. “Dildos can come in a wide variety of forms, sizes, surface textures, and even materials,” she explains. Before you make a purchase, you need to determine the length and girth that will best satisfy your pleasure needs, in addition to the colour and texture of the item. (As a general rule, it’s better to start with a smaller quantity than you believe you’ll require.) “The wearer of the strap-on will need to be clear on what kind of pleasure they prefer because if they enjoy internal fullness, they can opt for an insertable, or double-ended, dildo,” she says. “If they enjoy external fullness, they can opt for a double-ended dildo.”
Take your time to try out a variety of different positions once you’ve gotten all of your gear ready. Doggy style is the better option for a receiver who enjoys depth, whereas the missionary style is a great choice for people who enjoy the intimacy of face-to-face contact. And ride-on-top can be a lot of fun for receivers who want to be in control of the depth, tempo, and angle of the route they take.
Make a butt play.
It’s a common misconception that anal sex can only be enjoyed by gay men, but the reality is that anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, is welcome to participate in this type of intimate encounter. “Everyone has at least one butt! In addition, the buttocks contain thousands of nerve endings, which, when stimulated in the appropriate manner, “explains Howard. Therefore, it is not surprising that some lesbians would be interested in incorporating analogical play or sex into their bedroom antics.
Her advice is to begin by engaging in external anal stimulation using your tongue, finger, or an anal-friendly vibrator. At some point in the future, you might decide to add some penetrative analogical play to the mix. “During penetrative anal play, the most important things to remember are to use lube, relax your body, communicate discomfort and pleasure with the same ease, and toys used in the anus CANNOT be used vaginally (and vice versa),” says Howard. “These are the most important things to keep in mind.”
